Three month update. And snow?

It has been a full 3 months since my last post on this blog, meaning THREE months since we moved back to the US from Stockholm. So much has changed! And is changing!

But before any real update, happy halloween. We spent our Halloween Saturday night (when most people shoulda been dressed up and drunk) watching movies under piles of quilts, since the heat in our new building hasn't turned on yet. And we had a frickin' BLIZZARD on the East Coast in October, making it way too cold to do anything but make things in the oven and then leave it on and open for extended stretches. We checked: it was 15c degrees in Stockholm; 6c in Washington D.C.

Anyway, Stu & I spent the first nearly two months of our return in Virginia, living with family, catching up with friends, applying to jobs, eating awesome and cheap American food, and watching a whole lotta crappy morning news shows (pathetic, I know, but I didn't realize how much I missed the Today show and Good Morning America.)  There was nasty DC August heat, a hurricane or two, an earthquake, a tornado, and now, a snow storm in October.

We moved back in my 7th month of pregnancy, so the slow pace of transition was a really, really good one for me. Finally got our shipment of stuff from Sweden almost a month later than planned, but all intact and with few major problems. But by late September, we still didn't want to *unpack* our Sweden boxes without knowing where at least one job would be. We'd both had a few job interviews but no real bites, and my belly kept getting bigger, which made life a little more stressful since we didn't quite feel settled yet and the range of possible scenarios when Baby arrived was sooooooo wide. Oh, and diapers are expensive.

But within literally 12 hours of each other, Stu and I both got AWESOME job offers in DC, which we both accepted embarrassingly quickly ("Really? You want to employ me? Ohmygodyesyesyes!" It was seriously like a marriage proposal for me. At 8 months pregnant, a shotgun wedding?) Within a week, we bought a car and rented and moved up to an apartment in Arlington, and basically did a complete 180 from the "back-up" plans we had put in place.

Dressed up and gigantic!

Stu has been at his new job at a big consulting firm here in DC for the last few weeks, and so far likes it a lot. I am incredibly excited to start my new position as an art reference librarian with the Smithsonian (the job I have been working towards for years now.)  However, I don't know *when* that start date will be, since I have been sitting around waiting for my federal background check to process for the last month, and I have exactly 3 weeks until my due date. Best case scenario: I start November 7, work for 2 weeks, then pop out a healthy baby boy in a quick and pain-free delivery, just in time for Thanksgiving. Buuuut, I am full-term and could literally go into labor at any time, and the government is frickin' slow. So I won't be surprised if I have this baby the day I get told I can start work, then immediately take maternity leave until late January (and the quick & pain-free delivery was probably never in the cards.)

So here we are, in our last few weeks (or days?!?) of being a family of two, still figuring out the day-to-day grind. I had to find a new doctor near our new place, which is really tough when you are on Medicaid and 34 weeks pregnant and in the DC area. And the doctor aside, finding day care in this area is damn near impossible: 10-12 month waiting lists for centers that charge $1900/month tuition for an infant. Almost a year? "Tuition" for a 3-month old?! $1900?!?  Needless to say, we were completely ruined by the prospect of Sweden's system of health and child care.

The nursery in process.

And we miss a lot of aspects of our life in Stockholm, the city, our friends there, our awesome apartment. It isn't completely gone, though. I will probably never wear shoes in my house again. We still speak in Swenglish to each other, though I'd say the most oft used phrase is "Vad fan gör du?" by Stu to me, and rightly so, since pregnant women do a lot of strange things ;). We made kardemummakaka last night in an attempt to warm up our frigid apartment. We've gone to an event or two at the House of Sweden. And I have spent more money than I would like to admit at Ikea recently.

But we definitely think, especially with a little clarity from these last 3 months, that moving back to the US was the absolute best possible choice for us. And also that our time in Stockholm was so, so, so worth it. The travels and the experiences, and even the education (though I complained a whole lot about mine!), were life-changing, and I can honestly say we are in a better place in our lives than we would have been without those two years in Sweden.

So that is a little of what we have been up to since leaving Sverige. Aside from a picture or two to announce our new little Swedish meatball when he comes, I probably won't post much more here, and would rather keep it as a kind of time capsule of our lagom life in Stockholm. 

Moving!

It is decided. We fly back one-way to DC on July 26, moving back to the States officially!

I hadn't bothered to apply to a single job in Stockholm this year, so I wasn't expecting amazing job offers on my end. Stu had some great leads on jobs here, but none materialized as solid offers by our self-imposed deadline. So, with our residence visas expiring June 30th, a whole 2 weeks after Stu graduates, we figured, why drag it out? Holy crap, June 30th is in 28 days! Thankfully, we could apply for short-term extensions to finish the move (and keep health insurance!)

We have a super summer vacay planned, with a week in France (including 5 days in Paris, which are fully paid by  major int'l company Stu is competing for!) then a week in Italy, with spending time with lots of friends in between. Then a few last weeks of decadent Swedish summer before the big move.

This weekend, we've got friends visiting, but starting next week, we start packing! I've already posted a ton of stuff for sale on Blocket (anybody in Stockholm looking for a pull-out couch? Some great Ikea chairs? Lamps? Coffee pot? Other random household goods? Here's a link to pictures of some of the stuff: https://picasaweb.google.com/lagom.sverige/Collages?authkey=Gv1sRgCPz1p8bS2vSvWw&feat=directlink#)

Uggg, another overseas move!  We got so lucky coming over--it was cheap, the company was good, everything turned up on time and intact. But of course, that shipper is out of business and I don't expect it to be nearly so cheap on the way back. And to boot, I'm preggers, and we don't have jobs, and DC is hot & miserable in the summer. I hate moving.

But I am still so, so, so excited to move back. I've been pulling for this for months now. We have had such a great two years in Sweden, but it just feels like it is time.

But what will happen to the blog? 

Taxes!

Done!

I procrastinated 'til the last possible day to file, but as of 15 minutes ago, it's done!  I actually didn't even really file...I 'own' a business (which just means I work freelance, but in Sweden, you basically have to incorporate a company to get paid piece meal.) But since I didn't get it going until last September, I opted for an extended first tax year and only had to fill a bunch of boxes in the online form with zeros. Still, I dreaded it. And since Tax-Swedish doesn't easily translate with Google, I had to have some natives walk me through the basics.
Next year, I'll be on the hook for paying a small fortune. 54%+ of my earnings? Fun!

Business trip

It has been a while since we posted!  I have an excuse...I have been generally sick while also working on my thesis and planning my graduate exhibition (got an opening date now! May 21 at Moderna!)  Not very good excuses, but nonetheless.

But this week, Stu is going on his first business trip as an intern for this big Swedish-multi-national company, to the States! He'll be in Charlotte for meetings for several days (and I selfishly hope it has potential for a job there...NC is warmer than Sweden!) Then he is taking an extra day to hang out in NYC to catch up with a few friends. I'd be more jealous if he wasn't promising to bring me lots of presents back. And I *am* totally jealous...he's going to fill up on burgers and Carolina BBQ! Can't bring those back in a suitcase too easily. Nah, aside from a list of drugstore stuff, I'm hoping for some mac & cheese of all things, some American Easter candy, and maybe even an H&H bagel or two...

In the meantime, I'm on my own for a few days. I guess he thought I'd forget to eat or something while he was gone (because I'll be so distraught?!?) so he popped by the grocery store last night and bought about $100 worth of food for me for the week. Including my very own pint of Ben & Jerrys Baked Alaska. We often fight over a pint, and the thing gets eaten in one very short sitting. But now I don't have to fight with anyone over who gets those delicious little white chocolate polar bears. He's so sweet. 

Who speaks Swedish anyway?

I realized it has been a few since I posted, but I had no idea what to write about?!? What we are up to? What we have planned coming up? Something totally random?

Currently, I am helping out with a project on postmodernism that involves 1980s Swedish art journals at Moderna Museet (and spent 8 hours today helping an artist make 400 paintings for the project...I have paint in my ears.) I am also supposed to be working on my final exhibition and thesis. It'll happen. I hope.
Stu is busy working full-time at a Swedish company for his capstone project, but he'll be done in 2 months. In fact, he'll be done with a 2-week break right when I will be most busy preparing for my final exhibition presentation, so I need someone to take my husband for that time....anyone want to babysit Stu? Anyone? If he is home with nothing to do, while I have to focus and produce, we might get divorced. Not really, but he could use a vacation then, anyway ;)

We are applying for jobs all over. I see lots of museum/library jobs in the States, but Stu has more options in Europe. So it's a bit of a toss up...I guess we'll take the first thing we get! We are traveling a bit. We are apartment-swapping in London in a few weeks, and are thinking about taking a weekend up to the super-north of Sweden to see the Northern Lights and have dinner at the Ice Hotel (yeah, just dinner...not all that interested in sleeping on a chunk of ice and wolf pelts.) We were invited to a wedding in southern France and one in Tuscany. I love it when people get married in exotic places. And our friends from NYC are coming for a visit in April, which I am *psyched* about! Hmmm...what else?

And for the something totally random...a commercial I really like. Tele2 has a sheep as a gimick because Swedes pronounce the word "cheap" as "sheep". Clever.



Consummentbaguette?
Ha. Swedes.

Figuring out the future so soon?

Stu & I moved to Sweden to be full-time grad students about 14 months ago now. We came from the US with shiny student visas (and in my case, a spouse visa since I hadn't heard about school yet.) We knew even though our programs were two years long, Migrationsverket (the immigration board) would want to check up on us after a year to make sure we were passing and still had some money to live off. Since his visa was set to expire September 1, Stu recently sent his renewal forms in for what I think of as "Stockholm, Year II." He just got his approval today, meaning he can head to Migrationsverket office for a new picture in his passport, and should have no problems traveling to London when we take my dad there next week.

But we were surprised when reading the forms...apparently, they only approved Stu to stay in Sweden until June 2011. We had been going on the assumption that we would have a full two years here, and though we would graduate in June, we would have the summer to finalize plans our next phase, post-grad school. We even signed our lease at our apartment to end on August 31, 2011.

That may not seem like a huge time difference, but we have no idea where we will be heading as of June 2011! The timeline in my mind was to start looking at the job market next May or so, and we would both basically apply for anything and everything that we saw in Stockholm, several large UK cities, and the major cities in the US. In an ideal world, we would get the summer to travel again, knowing exactly what city we would live in by July and then could leisurely move to new digs (whether in Stockholm or abroad) in August, starting fantastic and well-paying jobs in September. But the economy hasn't exactly bounced back as high as one would have hoped, so I know the job hunt could be challenging.

In fact, though, we hope to get jobs here in Stockholm, to take advantage of the connections and networking our education has fostered, to enjoy living in this country while making a decent living wage, maybe take advantage of some of the amazing parental benefits while we were at it, and pay back into the tax system that has so generously supported us for what will be 22 months.

But leaving Sweden in June is too soon! We have to give our landlady 3 months notice that we will be leaving (so that's the beginning of April.)  I foresee April being the *busiest* 30-day stretch for us school-wise in nearly 2 years, without even thinking about applying to jobs, applying for new visas, moving across more large bodies of water, etc.

I think it's worth noting how dysfunctional we find aspects of the Swedish education system when it comes to educating foreigners. Sweden has always (and will continue until next year) made education free to everyone, whatever nationality. One would think that if the government is investing millions into human capital every year, they would want to make it as easy as possible to reap the benefits of their investments! To educate someone from outside the EU, bestowing masters or even PhD degrees, and then giving them NO time to find suitable work in this country before they are legally required to leave just doesn't make sense. One of the reasons given that the country elected to institute tuition starting next year is because "people come for the free education and then leave." But in reality, the government gives them no choice.

It's going to be winter here sooner than I'd like to admit, so maybe if I were writing this blog post 2 months from now, the tone would be different. As in "get me the hell out of here!" Working in San Diego *would* be pretty great, come to think of it. But the point is that it is too soon to think about it!  Ugg, how frustrating.

I started a business in Sweden!

Well, I dropped the paperwork off at Skatteverket (the tax office) anyway. They say it'll take a week or two until I am officially registered in Sweden.  Sounds a bit spammy, doesn't it? Like, "I started a business and you can, too!"

There are so many ways that Sweden differs legally and socially/culturally from the U.S. I guess it's part of the benefit of having this blog...to work through and vent some of the culture shock we have experienced.
A big difference that has not affected me in the least until last week was how Sweden allows one to get paid for doing contract work. In the U.S., you do the work, the business/individual cuts you a check for your agreed amount, you put it in your own bank account and you are responsible at the end of the tax year for social welfare deductions and paying local/federal taxes. Turbotax makes this easy if you do simple contract work on the side (like Stu did when he taught yoga classes at several DC yoga studios,) but can likely get much more complicated if it's your only form of income.

I was offered a job last week doing something interesting, meaningful (to my CV) and best of all, lucrative...writing scholarly texts on a range of artists represented in the collection at a small museum here in Stockholm. I was really excited at what they were offering for this task (granted any amount in kronor sounds astounding.) It's simple contract work: a few texts per week/month and a very low annual income from them, just pocket change. But in Sweden, even the smallest amount shouldn't escape the tax man's clutches, and one can't just have checks made out to them (Sweden *doesn't do* checks.) One has to start their own business to get a payment.

So that's what I did. Thankfully, they make it pretty easy. Weeeelllll, the paperwork so far was easy. Ask me again at tax time. I could have paid a little to register my business with a trademark-able name, but I decided to stick with my own name. It's free that way. The customer service rep at Skatteverket told me to plan for about 60% of my pay to go to taxes and social welfare, which was rather disheartening. But I will have an employee! Because these texts need to be submitted in English AND Swedish, and my Swedish language skills have not progressed beyond the level of a 5-year-old native, and Google Translate would make me sound like I suffered head trauma, I'll pay one of my friends to do it for me. I wish I could put Stu on the payroll...I'd love to be his boss.

But hmmmm, should I put entrepreneur on my CV? ;)

Maybe they need priorities

I have mentioned that I am doing an internship in the fall at Moderna Museet here in Stockholm, and I have probably posted dozens of pictures on this blog from the museum...they are one of the biggest and most well-regarded in Scandinavia, with a large fantastic collection, interesting special exhibitions and events (for example, Ed Ruscha is doing an artist tomorrow at 4pm!) They also have a very colorful history that is well-known, from the eccentric days of director Pontus Hulten to having to close & remodel because of mold. I am super-psyched for this opportunity.

So I was surprised when I read that Moderna has failed a basic audit and has been accused of inadequate control of its collections. In part for LOSING AN ANDY WARHOL.

This Warhol seems to be a small lithograph from a book. But it is not the first time I have heard they misplaced a Warhol...we get to meet all sorts of interesting art people as a part of my program, and one particularly mad curator told us the story of the Andy Warhol retrospective exhibition at Moderna in the 1970s in which the artist brought a very, very large purple flower painting to Stockholm for the show (looks something like below...Moderna doesn't let you take their images from their site!) Apparently it was so big, Warhol didn't want to take it back to NYC so he gave the work to one of his Swedish acquaintances, who didn't have the wall space for Ten-Foot Flowers so he gave it to Moderna, but it was too big for the museum as well, and who knows how it got there, but it was found 20 years later in runway storage at an airport in Ohio. They got a call from some confused airport official saying "Uhhh, we got your big purple painting here," only identified because it said "Moderna Museum Stockholm" on the box. It now hangs proudly in the museum's permanent collection.

Anyway, slightly more disconcerting is the fact that this audit was failed because of the department in which I plan to be interning! Keeping track of art and collection objects in almost any museum is the job of the registrar's office...they organize loans in and out, they record any movement of any work inside the museum, they know what is in storage, what is under conservation, what can be used for websites and advertising, etc. Looks like I'll be learning by doing?

I have a meeting with the registrars at Moderna tomorrow afternoon, and I guess I'll have to ask about the report? I'd love to hear what happened! Or maybe its simply that Andy Warhol paintings in that collection just go missing?

things we saw in Stockholm

It is nearly 10pm, but it's still light out. It is so nice in Stockholm, we've had our french doors open for the last 2 full days.

Blue skies, and no Ejayafjällasumthinoranother debris in sight.  Stu has a business trip in Göteborg (aka Gothenburg, or Yoda Boring) and is thinking about taking the train both ways to avoid the volcanic spew. And yes, my husband now has business trips...he has managed to score several sweet short-term contract jobs at businesses here in Stockholm and in the Netherlands. Unfortunately, their terms all overlap and we still have 3 weeks of school, so he happens to be the most stressed man I know right now, but regardless I am proud of him. Bringin' home the bacon.

We got to spend some super days with our super friends Emre and Patti this weekend, too. They managed to get back to Utrecht yesterday after more than 9 hours of traveling, thanks to the ever-present ash cloud of doom. They probably could have DRIVEN to Utrecht in that amount of time, but whatever.

• We did Gamla Stan, we went to some museums (the Medieval Stockholm museum and the Wine & Spirits museum, both highly recommended.) 
• We caught a crazy burlesque show...no little people this time, but there were a whole lotta attention-hogging people in the audience. And as many naked people in the crowd as on stage.  
• We sat outside at a bar on Medborgarplatsen on Saturday when it was so gorgeous, and I just read Alexander Skarsgård and his new gf Kate Bosworth were sitting in the exact same spot enjoying the sun yesterday. I'da loved that celebrity sighting...
• We had a few friends over for dinner and drinks super late into the night. 
• We took a boat out to a close island on the archipelago and ate ice cream and laughed at Stu getting harassed by large, angry birds. He does not like birds, of any size or disposition, within a few feet of his space. 
• We saw a few movies and hung out and generally enjoyed each other's company.

And it all generally made me more excited to head back to DC in a few weeks, to see everyone else we miss.

All's fair in hide-and-seek

I had an uncommonly easy time picking up the Swedish kids from dagis (daycare) and school today. No fighting while yanking on snowsuits, no bribes needed to get them to wear their gloves, scarves and hats, no pleading with them to ride in the stroller. The 2-year-old can say "No!" in more than one language.

They ate dinner relatively calmly (pasta & ketchup featured on the menu, so I guess that's a given.) The TV cable box was disconnected, so we actually read books and played games, which doesn't happen so easily anymore.

We read The Little Engine that Could, we played keep-the-balloon-off-the-floor, and we played Hide-and-Seek. Actually, we played Naked Hide-and-Seek. The littlest kids thought it was the greatest thing in the world to take all their clothes off and chase each other in a circle for 4 or 5 minutes straight, hollering the entire time. And then Hide-and-Seek. I let them, because I got a kick out of it, and thought it might tire them out a bit for their parents, so why not?

The 2-year-old is still learning the art of Hide-and-Seek, and often pops up with "Här är jag!" (Here I am!) before anyone has even started seeking. And the 4-year-old girl is still learning to count numbers in a straight line (as in, "ett, två, fyra, åtta, sju, elva, jag kommer!") so the game is entertaining. I sat on the couch, helping point out good places to hide and helping count. The first 3 or 4 times, the 2-year-old popped up after about 30 seconds to show where he was hiding, and there was immense giggling and excitement on the part of both kids. But the next time he hid, he stayed down and he stayed quite. I knew he was crouched behind the couch, and the little girl & I "looked" all over the living room for him. I thought, "Wow, he is really getting the hang of this game!" as he hadn't uttered a peep.

But we found him, and soon found out why he hadn't jumped up immediately. He was squatting in a puddle of pee behind the couch. He looked up at us with a big smile and said in his incredibly adorable baby-talk Swedish "Jag har kissat!" (I peed!)

Thank god it didn't get on their expensive-looking Oriental rug. But I learned my lesson, no more naked hide-and-seek. In his adorable baby-talk Swedish, he dutifully told his pappa when he got home that he had peed on the floor, after which I had to explain that I allowed this guy's children to run amok naked in his living room and urinate freely. Thankfully, he still paid me.

They lulled me into a false sense of I'm-actually-in-control with how easy they were to get home. I am still a rookie. They suckered me by making me think the afternoon had gone so smoothly, only to pee on the floor, showing me that kids are never easy. Such clever little things.

I'm thinking of quitting my job.

Well, I've actually decided to. And sorry if Stu has caused headaches with his philosophical musings...he is knee-deep in econ and accounting, and this blog offers a pretty good outlet. Otherwise, I am the outlet, and wine is just too expensive in this country...

Anyway, back to unemployment. I know, I know, its an entire TWELVE hours a week, give or take. And my schedule at Stockholm University is so light, I almost feel stupid in deciding to quit the only kronor we have coming in. But school is random, with a different schedule of classes every week. The entire month of November is all late afternoon classes (which means I can't work).

And as it gets colder (and its definitely getting colder!!) I can't help but dread having to bundle up 2 squirmy little munchkins who never even want to put their shoes on, much less coats, hats, gloves, etc. and then stroller them the 1.5 km to pick up the other little rugrat, then stroller the whole lot of them back in the cold and dark of December, January, February.

And not having a job that has me working from 3pm until 6 or 7pm means that I can start taking Swedish language classes in the evenings. And hopefully learn something slightly more useful than ¨graset är grönt¨ (the grass is green.) English is fine, actually, and the majority of people in Stockholm speak it and are happy to help me out. But its a personal goal to speak next-to-fluent Swedish by the end of this 2-year Stockholm stint, and I might as well get on with it sooner rather than later.

They are awfully sweet kids, and I like their parents very much. And my clothes have all gotten too big with all the chasing and strollering. And it feels kinda nice to hand Stu a small wad of cash as an 'allowance' each week. Maybe instead he'll get a gig teaching yoga here in Stockholm?
But I'm probably working regularly another month or so. And then back to unemployment. I missed it so.

Back to schoooool!

Stu starts up his program in about an hour...he is out getting a haircut (gotta look respectable for business school, and we have been in scruffy vacation mode for a month now!!)

The first week or so will be nuts, and I probably won't see him much myself. While he will have a full Monday-Friday morning schedule all semester, this first week and a half is all-day orientations, lectures, meetings, and events. Tonight, he has a banquet with the other master's students and employers. Tomorrow, after class, some cocktail & mingling time with classmates. Friday, its some scavenger hunt and class. And Saturday, we are leaving to spend the weekend out on the archipelago, camping (I think? Or it could be a cottage/stuga?)

And school starts up for me on Monday! I just found out that a space opened up in the program I applied to at Stockholm University, in the Curating Art master's programme. Stu & I had a field trip out to SU this week, and its HUGE. 50,000 students, so much bigger than University of MD, and I won't even mention tiny Mary Wash. And I was pleased to see that the Art History department shares the building with the campus library.
I have a much less busy semester schedule, with only 2 classes per week, for only 2 hours. Much more like the grad school schedule I am used to! I had a heart attack when I saw the hours in class that Stu had to commit to in business school! And for the mean time, I am working in the afternoons as a nanny with 3 kids, so we'll see how it goes. I learned yesterday that couscous is "blehbleh" (thats 1-year-old speak for icky) and that the 4-year-old wanted pasta with ketchup for dinner. Gourmet, for sure.

Swedes sunbathing outside of Handelshögskolan, Stu's new digs!